Rhythms of the Night

Yesterday was Sunday. Normaly on Sundays, I close shop at 12 and have half a day to myself. Sometimes when I am lazy, I will just sleep off the whole afternoon, feel drowsy at the evenings and when it’s time for bed, I will lay wide awake looking at the ceiling. Since it has been quite a few hectic Sundays for me for the last few weeks, I decided to take it easy and do some light housework instead.

New Year is round the corner and the hose need some tidying anyway. The problem is my wife is a hoarder. Whatever I dumped into the thrash bag, she will double check and 10 out of 10 times, half of it will go back into the cabinet. Makes me want to scream. Why are women like that? All those useless stuffs  have been in the cupboard for years and years. Every year I take it out, cleans the dust of it and place it back and it gets, fuller every year. Would you believe it if I told you she even makes a fuss if I throw away those empty Coke bottles? I don’t know she wants with them. 

She went out for the afternoon, and Ha! i got a free reign. Dumped every worthless thing away without telling her. The funny thing is she wouldn’t notice because the cupboard is so filled wioth stuffs that even she doesn’t recognise. Disposed off those rubbish real quick, just in case she comes home and find her stuff in the garbage can. As long as she doesn’t realise I have thrown them away, she will be happy.

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I don’t know if it’s my mattress or what, but i get up every morning with a sore shoulder every morning. Sometimes it goes off after my morning runs and for the last few weeks, the soreness has been getting worse. When I swing my arms, i can actually hear my shoulders give out a cracking sound!

Today is exceptionally bad. I feel ’sourness’. maybe this is a sign that age has finally caught up with me. I always tell people that I am getting old, but in reality, I don’t actually feel old. must be self denial, i guess, but when aches and pains starts for no apparent reason, the reality crops in.

I first noticed it when I was up on my roof cleaning the debris and twigs after the workmen had completed their repairs on my roof. There was a time not so long ago that I can stay eight hours under the sun slogging away without any problems, but the other day, I was totally worn out only after 3. I felt like a piece of sponge for the rest of the day and the day after.

Maybe it’s because I have stopped for so long and could not adapt immediately. That is what i would like to think at least. Hai… must go look for my Panadol now..  

Sorry Malaysians, but this is the Joke that westerners are making about this country..  

In January 2007, President George W Bush is visiting several Asian countries including Indonesia and Singapore.

Bush: Well Condi, is there anything you need from Singaporethat I can pick up for you while I am there next month?

Rice: That’s very kind of you, Mr President, but no, there’s really nothing I need right now from there. But Laura will certainly enjoy the shopping there, sir.

Bush: Ah yes, she’s been talking about it. Lee’s wife has promised to take her shopping at the newly opened Vivocity.

Rice: I’m sure she’ll enjoy a trip to Sentosa too. Especially now that the haze from Indonesia has more or less lifted. Talking of which, you’re going to Indonesia too, aren’t you sir?

Bush: Yes I am, and while I’m with Susilo Bambang, Laura will visit Acheh and give away a cheque to the tsunami victims.

Rice: How sweet. Would you be dropping by Malai Shia, sir?

Bush: Naw, giving them a miss.

Rice: Don’t blame you sir, they have some rough motor cyclists there. Called themselves "Mad Ram Piss" or something. They think they’re the Asian equivalent of our Knievel. They would certainly scare Laura to death.

Bush: Nah, Laura is made of sterner stuff. But that’s not the reason why we’re not going to Malai Shia, Condi.

Rice: Oh. Then it must be their traffic jams. They even have monorails that run off the tracks and dangle in mid-air. And highway pillars that crack.

Bush: Really? Incompetent, that’s all I can say. But no, that’s not the reason why we’re skipping Malai Shia either.

Rice: Oh I know. You don’t want to distract the Prime Minister right now, isn’t it? Heard he’s getting some shitty stuff from his predecessor telling him off like a kid.

Bush: If Clinton did that to me, I’d personally throw him off an F-16. But no, that’s also not the reason why we’re skipping Malai Shia.

Rice: Must be the floods then, sir? It’s the monsoon season now and it floods bad after just two hours of rain. Landslides too; bring down houses but then people there build 4-storey bungalows without approval.

Bush: Naw, the rain wouldn’t bother us. That’s also not the reason for not going there.

Rice: I give up. Why are you visiting Indonesia and Singapore, and yet not go to Malai Shia, Mr President?

Bush: The reason, Dr Rice, is that I don’t want their Religious Department people banging on our hotel room door in the middle of the night, demanding to see our marriage certificate. Now THAT would scare the hell out of Laura…..