Wed 30th Aug 2006

Meme about Me

Posted at: 3:32 pm, filed under: Bullshits.

First, I want to introduce you an angel. Sometimes she comments here and sometimes I go and visit her. She has a nice blog that I think you will like. I find that she has a good sensible head on her shoulders and she has a gift for the language. When you read her blog, you feel as though you are watching a very engrossing romantic movie. You feel as though you are alone in a very quiet room listening to a very sentimental song. AND SHE TAGGED ME!

What’s the tag? I’m suppose to state 6 random facts about meself. I thought of doing it like thus,

I am an old monkey,

I have a big belly,

My foot is damn smelly,

I’m an ohkau kaki,

I like to watch porn movie,

And fiddle my little willy.

Buthen, since she is an angel, I’ll do a serious one.

1. I’m too blunt and straightforward for my own good.

Don’t know when and don’t know how, but I lost the art of patronisation. Offended quite a few people but i have no regrets offending them.

2. I don’t pre-plan anything I do.

Always doing things on impulse has cost me quite a lot, but till today, i still am doing things without careful consideration of the end results. Stubbornly believing that if you look at things in too many different angles, considering too many things, nothing will be done.

3. I can endure, but I don’t have a strong willpower.

Are endurance and willpower the same thing? If you say I don’t have a strong willpower, how on earth did I endure 11 hours on the road finishing a 60 km. run/walk. How on earth did I complete the marathon that I took part a few months back. But if I am so strong willed, how on earth did I fail to give up smoking after 3 attempts?

4. I can’t resist good food.

I binge.

5. I don’t know how to save.

Whenever my wallet is a little bulgy, I tend to splash, never stopping to think I might need some for a rainy day. That’s why I am almost always broke!

6. I am a total failure!

For a man who had lived for 18,250 days, I am a total failure. When everyone else my age has already made his fortune and on the verge of retirement, I am still here, worrying about next week’s expenses. People like me are considered, ‘’Don’t die also no use lah" 

Think I’ll tag MsLenglui and Titoki with this one.  

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Wed 30th Aug 2006

The Patriots

Posted at: 11:06 am, filed under: Bullshits.

August 30th. Without fail, each year around this time, the earth beneath our feet begins to stir. Like the boiling magma within our earth’s crust being disturbed by some unseen force, the earth begins to heat up, causing all the earth worms that have been living lazily all this while, to wriggle out, trying to escape the increasing heat. By the stroke of midnight, the earth, that has been relatively quiet throughout the year, will be manifested with worms of a certain nature.  The roads will be teeming with them.  They will be roaring their way, not caring about the safety of others as well as themselves. They can do super stunts belittling even the greatest stuntmen. Ladies and Gentleman of this great country, let’s welcome the Mat Cermerlangs!! formerly known as Mat Rempits.

Tonight is open season for them. All they have to do is to stick a big flag at the back of their ‘Kaps’ and then while tearing down the roads, shout "Merdeka!" and the authorities will turn a blind eye. They are patriots of the country, and you don’t arrest patriots for small petty crimes like riding without a helmet, driving without a licence, breaking the speed limit, using a stolen vehicle and causing public nuisance. They are the future leaders! 

When after all their patriotic antics have ended, and they are tired, they head down for the beach for  their much deserved rest, before they start all over again, going on throughout the night. They leave the beautiful beaches with souvenirs of old newspapers, Kentucty fried chicken wrappers, and used condoms splattered all over the beautiful white sand. 

Come daylight, the earth miraculously reverts back to it’s natural temperature, and all the worms will reluctantly crawl back into their respective holes, laze around not wanting to fertilise the land that they are suppose too, but always complaining that they are not given enough to chew on. It’s their land after all, they say.      

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