I was never ‘educated’ in sex. Have you? I don’t think so. Till today, even with all the hoo hah about having sex education in school and all, is there really a subject in the school time table that says, "sex" along with "maths". "geography" or "history"? I don’t think I’ll see this in my life time. Not with all those religiously and morally correct people around. Heck, we can’t even have a simple kissing scene on our TV and you want to learn about sex in school?

When I was in, I think, Form Two or something, a lady teacher came to our class one day and asked all the girls to follow her to the school hall. They closed up all the doors at the hall and something went on inside, for girls only. Of course there some curious cats among us who crept to the back of the hall to try and find out what the secrecy is all about and by the time school was over, we were teasing all the girls in class about the "Roti". Well, at least they had their ‘Sex Education’.

Then when I moved on to Form Five, we had a subject called Health Science. In the text book, there is a chapter on ‘The Reproductive Organs in Humans’ where we were presented with the drawings of the male and female reproductive organs, showing the penis, the testes, the ovaries and all. It was a very important chapter and you can rest assured that these 2 diagrams will appear in the year end examinations, so all of us were experts in the reproductive systems having mastered and memorised the drawings by heart. However, the teacher that taught us the subject saw otherwise. The day before we were to touch on that chapter, she issued a verbal warning to all the male monkeys in class that she will not tolerate any questions on that subject. The next day, she practically read the text from the book word by word and that’s it. No explanation. Nothing. So now, we all know how the women can get pregnant but still not knowing how to impregnate. 

Then we had another subject called "Modern Science" where we were encouraged to find for results through our own experiments and analyzation. There was also a chapter on the reproduction where we learned how the sperm will fertilise the egg and all. Since this subject emphasise on real time experiments, we were expecting something really educating from our teacher. Some pictures at least. We were disappointed. There were no graphic illustrations. But we still have do some experiments right? For this, our beloved Science teacher produced a small bottle of sperm for us to scrutinise under the microscope. We were to see how a real spermatozoa looks like and make a drawing of it. But hard as I tried, I can’t see a single thing, even when I set the microscope to it largest magnifying limit. So I tried to be funny and told the teacher that his sperm is no good cos I can’t see a thing, to which he replied, "Those are bull’s sperm" and to which, I innocently believed. Later on, when I was a little bit more matured I realised that it wasn’t that easy to get a bull to shoot his sperm for you.

That about sums up the ’sex education’ that i received in school. I don’t know if they still have these 2 subjects now. My real ‘education’ started after i dropped out from school. From those 8mm silent movies. They are actually not silent, but had to be silenced in order not to arouse suspicions from neighbours. Had to pay 20 bucks for entrance. That was lots of money back then, and that barger made a small fortune showing his weekly movies, and god knows how many lawyers, doctors and engineers that i could have produced got washed away into the drains.  

Poetry in motion - The Lonely Lady