Maybe the ladies don’t know, but we men are really sensitive beings. We also respond according to moods and physical capabilities. Some times when the mood is grouchy like after a bad day at work, or when the bank has been calling you for days reminding you to pay up your car installments, our state of mind is so out of focus that even a 5 ton crane would not be able to lift that mighty kkc up. So before you put on that transparent negligee that you bought that afternoon, do try to find out the mood that your hubby is in first. Don’t blame him if you end up being another frustrated and desperate housewife.

Pysical exhaustion is another culprit which greatly effects the performance of a healthy blue blooded male. The mind might be willing, but the body is not, especially if you have been couped up in a car for more than 10 hours travelling all the way up north. So the first agenda after checking in would be to ask the bell boy to get you a good experience masseuse. Tip him generously so that he gets you a nice one. Not to old, but not too young either. Young ones are very inexperienced. Get someone in their late twenties or early thirties. The rub down you get will loosen all your tired bones. After the normal routine which last one hour, ask her the all important question, "*uu teh lam pah bor?" Ask in a professional and a matter of fact manner. Don’t be like shy shy like that. They are very professional and they treat their job with dignity. If they do offer this service they will say yes. If not they will tell you frankly that they don’t.

Getting your lam pah massaged is an experience you will never regret. Under expert hands, you will actually feel blood rushing to your holy rod. Those skillful hands will twist and twirl, pinch and pull and you will be in seventh heaven. The most amazing thing is they have the power to make your brother stand and sit at will. Tried as I might to have them teach me this technique, they always refuse. According to them, it’s not as simple as telling you where to press and you will achieve the desired results. If you do it wrongly, your little brother will be paralysed for life and I sure wouldn’t want that! 

 


*teh lam pah = massage your balls.