This is an open letter to Mr. Warren Buffet, the second richest man in the whole wide world.
Dear Mr. Buffet,
I hear you are going to give away 85% of your total wealth which by my rough calculation would be about US 37 billion, to charity. What a generous man you truly are. I am sure this amount will certainly make this world a better place to live in.
In the process of giving away those billions, I hope you can consider me as one of the recipients. I am THE charitable cause in Malaysia. I am in dire need of funds to allow me to blog everyday witout having to worry about food on the table. I am in need of funds to pay off my Proton Iswara which I have not paid for 3 months and the Finance Company has threatened to repocessed my car. I am also in default with my house mortgage. Pretty soon they are going to auction off my house. So you see, I am indeed a very needy cause.
I am not a greedy person. Just a paltry, miserable US 1 million will see to all my needs. By ratio of what you are giving away, i think that would be about 100,000,000 to 1. So you see, I am not a very demanding sort of guy. I know what self satisfaction is. I only take what I need. Nothing more.
I also know what gratification is. We chinese have a sying that goes, "If you give me one foot, I will repay with a yard" So, if you will be so generous to give me that million I promise I will:
- Blog about you every two weeks for the rest of my blogging days.
- Hang your picture along side that of my ancestors and respect you like as I would respect them.
- Whenever I having my glass of favourite brew, I will toast to your health first.
- Say a prayer in your name every morning when I lit up the joss stick to pray to my dead ancestors
So what do you think Mr. Buffet? If you have any questions that you would like me to answer before making your decision, please feel free to e-mail me. I will try my level best to have them answered to your full satisfaction.
I look forward to your favourable reply in the soonest time possible.
Yours Sincerely,
Ah Pek
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Can I join the list? Lately damn kau poor…
9 mins after the fact.ah pek ah,
u park kao me under the 3rd of the list lah.
after u and inevitable got USD1 mil each, then i also can have my share also.
tenkiu ah. Next time, i will also keep featuring ah pek in my story. not ah beng anymore.
2 hours after the fact.Dear Mr. Ah Pek
8 hours after the fact.I am Mr. Buffet’s private sexy-turkey. Mr. Buffet said to tell you go sendiri eat buffet lah.
There is no way Mr. Buffet would resist such tempting deal. I mean, who doesn’t want to be remembered like someone who has passed away while they are still alive and kicking? Haha! Joss sticks… Good one.
15 hours after the fact.should CC a copy to the richest man in the world also mah! since that fler will be handling Buffet’s money
16 hours after the fact.I’ve received mine from Gates liao in the form of those free unlicensed Msoft software!! MUAHARHARHAR So, I’ll say a prayer to Bill.
17 hours after the fact.ah pek ‘harn chin harn toe sort chor’. nevertheless, it was a very good letter. i will forward it on your behalf to www.warrenbuffet.com. keep your fingers crossed. when he starts sending you the 1st instalment of the donation, please don’t forget to buy me dinner.
17 hours after the fact.ah pek, you got take wrong medications onot?
18 hours after the fact.inevitable,
sorry mate, you go write your own letter. i am not sharing my loot with you.
frostier,
you oso? sorry, i am not sharing with you either.
Lilian,
Dear Miss sexy turkey, when you sre on your boss lap, can’t you please put in a good word for me? I will buy you a 500 carat diamond if i get my mil.
Ian,
right! i do have a good strategy hor?
egghead,
ops! right. i forgot. or maybe i will write another one to him. heard he is also going to give away his billions.
helen,
what? and you are happy with it? cum on.. you can do better than that.
me,
ukay! one blardy romantic dinner cumming up! When can I expect payment?
dreamie,
18 hours after the fact.wot? wot? wot wrong medicine? i sick meh?
This may not work. You forgot the environmental statement.
1 day after the fact.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
629 days after the fact.wait…if he is the second richest man in the world then is bill gates the richest?
629 days after the fact.mr. buffet my name is todd berkey and i have 3 very beautiful children. the reason for this request is that they attend an montasorri school in elkhart in. and it is very important that they continue to attend this school . especially for my son blake . he is 4 yrs old and has just recently been diagnosed with a processing disorder and so it is very important that we are able to continue to send blake to this school because it is a hands on learning invironment which is crucial for his learning. the problem is that for the past 2 yrs the schools budget has been stretched to the limit and beyond and there are major concernes as to the schools future if some relief is not found soon.my wife is opening up a summer camp this summer in hopes of raising much needed funds for the school and helping us be able to send our three children again next yr.i am in the process of bulding the school a storage venue for the sporting events that they have and a place to store equpment. i am in the process right now of collecting donations for local businesses in the area. the verdict is still out. we are tring to collect donations of sporting equipment also.. i guess what i am tring to say is if they is anyway at all that you or your orginazation would be able to donate 2 to 3 hundred thousand dollars to the school and to its future there and a whole bunch of wonderful children and there families that would forever be grateful. the future of this wonderful school is very important to me and seversl other families. please consider what it is that i am asking. it would be felt throughout the community.very sincerely yours todd berkey 405 n. indiana ave goshen indiana.46528 ph.#574-320-0677
641 days after the fact.Dear Mr.Warren Buffet,
650 days after the fact.I am Mr.A.Fernandes Only Jesus Knows the Problems I am Going through my Life. Dear Fellow Christian Brother,I would be Glad,and Thank ful to Rest of my life to you,your family.If you Could HELP me in U.S Dollars 10,000.or how how you can Help me.
Which I Owe to my friends and Relatives which I borrowed to put up a new house.I lost my job,and picked up a new one but Not enough paid Salary to my Home expense and to Re-pay my Debts.As my Borrowers are Harrasing me in Re-paying back.
I feel like Comitting Suicide but survied with my Son and Wife.Only Jesus can put you my real situation in your mind to HELP me out PLEASE.
Waiting for your favourable Reply.
Yours Humble
A.Fernandes
hey im ava hicks im a future grandmother i have two girls of my own 13 and 21 i worked all my life not asking for much im asking money for a brand new house and car and to take my girls and soon to be granddaughter to disney world the bible says ask and i hope im not asking to much.
700 days after the fact.Hi, my name is ugo and i’m in financial dept to late payments on credit cards and a reposition.
807 days after the fact.please help me for this situation.
I need $15,000 to settle.
Thank You and God Bless
Ugo